The perceived in culture. When asked to

The definition of Masculinity states that ‘masculinity is the attribute associated, traditionally with men’. So how is a person characterized as a man?
Michael Kimmel in his article, ‘bros before hos’ the guy code, writes about what every guy has to go through while transitioning from a young boy to a man. He tells us how since a young age boys are force fed the idea, the guy code, of how they should act and behave in order to ‘fit in’ the society or else they would be perceived as ‘different’ people. Kimmel understands this through his different experiments and questions carried out with young adults in their 20’s. the purpose is to relate this code to understand why guys feel the way they do and how masculinity is perceived in culture.
When asked to different people by kimmel, that what it means to be a man, there responses seemed correlating as all the responses appeared to portray a picture of their same idea that being a man, in a nutshell, means being tough and that men don’t cry. These beliefs have been proliferated for centuries since the establishment of the United States. Generations and generations of male have been taught to be tough and the tradition still lives on.
What strikes me as the most interesting thing is what kimmel says about men being afraid of men and how a section called ‘Gender Police’ exists in our society who think that they have a moral duty to fix those who are not living according to their rules of masculinity, ‘men subscribe to these ideals not because they want to impress women, let alone any inner drive or desire to test themselves against some abstract standards. They do it because they want to be positively evaluated by other men. American men want to be a man among men’ Paragraph 14; line 4-7
These other men are the teachers, the football coaches, their fathers and grand dads who push these young boys to be more like what the society expects of them, what they want them to be and not what they really are. This oppression of emotions results in many young adults to become homophobic and emotionally unstable. ‘Homophobia- the fear that people might misperceive you as gay- is the animating fear of American guys masculinity’ paragraph 24, lines 7-8
A boy who shows a little compassion, emotion, an interest in arts and music, or is not interested in sports is labeled as sissy, queer, gay, wuss, pussy, or even a mama’s boy.
‘They become effeminate, not only if they express their emotions, but even if they feel them’ kimmel, 616. Peers force other boys to deny their emotional needs and disguise their feelings due to which young adults or teenagers end up being emotionally isolated for the rest of their lives. When such emotionally isolated teenager grow old they become prone to oppressing their feelings and turn to violence over time as they do have to somehow release the ever growing stress fueled up inside them, due to which these men a more likely to suffer depression, anxiety, and ADHD.
The ever growing need for men to prove their masculinity has pushed them towards much different kind of health issues. Since the beginning it is perceived that men are the only bread winners of a household and that a woman’s place is fixed inside a household catering to the needs of the family.
This stereotype still exists in the world but has vanished to a major scale from the American society over time. Even though both individuals are considered being equal in a household, some men still, in order to mark their masculinity status, work extra and harder, on longer shifts, give in more hours at work just so that they earn more and still be the ‘man of the house’ and who makes them think this way? The stained mind set of our older generation, specially the relatives. The American society has changed its mind set a lot over time and this is why it is a flourishing country.
I believe that the ‘guy code’ to a large extent is very significant social challenge faced by every guy when growing up. I think that kimmel has gotten to the heart of the matter, to why many men act tough and emotionless. It is a sad reality that even in society and culture where sexual, race preference and women’s rights are accepted but this integral gender problem still exists. I have been friends with and dated many men who have these traits and some who defy them. I find that as kimmel says, when men are with other men they have this need to prove their masculinity; however, in more personal situation I have luckily been able to witness that it does not cause all men to close up and become emotionless and angry driven person.