I have a classmate, Sammy. She is decided of having several problems among Intra- and Inter-Personal Competencies. I have done a number of researches on the problems and they will be discussed in detail by further studies. The three main problems that Sammy may be suffered are low self-concept, negative thoughts and poor family relationship. Those problems will be proved by studies at the following.
Content
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Low self-concept
Low self-esteem
One of the critical parts of self-concept is self-esteem. It indicates a positive or negative orientation (Rosenberg, 1979, p.14).
Level of self-esteem affects performance at many different tasks (Coopersmith, 1967, cited in Argyle, n.d.). Studies have found a significant proportion between self-esteem and grade-point-average (Baker, and beer, 1991, p.15). Besides academic achievement, intrinsic motivation may be also related to self-esteem (Skaalvik, 1997, cited in Hanna, et. Al., 2000, p.15). In this case, Sammy had an unfavorable result in the public examination and she is lack of motivation.
Low self esteem may regularly let us have a negative compare of us and others (Elliott, n.d.). Sammy always compare herself with peers and just focus on the part which advantageous to her. Therefore, she may be low self-esteem.
Dealing with low self-esteem
She could design an independent self-respect to others. Recognizing she has her own intrinsic value and worth and is a competent self (Ackerman, 2004).
According to Nah (2009), the esteem needs in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs can be fulfilled by communication. During conversation, Sammy might be helped by trying to be interested in other people and keep a smiling face (Nah, 2009).
In order to stop negatively comparing of her (Sammy) and others, she needs to think in an alternative way about herself, instead of just repeating the banalities. A wise person said: “If you are not for yourself then who else will be?” (Elliott, n.d.).
Identity Crisis
Nevertheless, a person’s self-concept may be affected by the turbulent periods of identity crisis (Self-concept, 2010). According to Eikson (cited in Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development, 2010), by asking “Who am I?”, teenagers make the transition from childhood to adulthood and the state can be called identity crisis. If Sammy has a low self-esteem during the development of identity, she may have a sense of having very little status among the surroundings. She may now suffering identity crisis and having a confusing self-concept with the question “who am I?”. However, she may be anticipated toward a negative self-concept according to her parents’ nagging and results as low performance. As a result, she may be suffering identity crisis.
Solution of Identity Crisis
Erikson believed that it is essential to have enough space and time for a person to attempt and explore a immovable sense of identity during the identity crisis, which is a psychological moratorium (Stevens, 1983, cited in Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development, 2010). During the psychological moratorium, she can try to do or learn the things that she ever knows. Reading and traveling can be the specific actions. These experiences can give her more chance on finding out what she actual like and value (e™???…a??, n.d.).
Self-efficacy
Lack of Self-efficacy
Unlike self-esteem, Self-efficacy reflects how people feel about their worth or value (Siegle, 2000). Self-efficacy expectations are beliefs which are regarding competence related to particular task or activity (Bandura, 1986, cited in Hanna, 2000, p.26). People with low self-efficacy might have a mind that tacks are much more difficult than they actual value. They will also attribute a failure to his own low ability (Pajares ,2002), therefore, they are generally lack of motivation. Sammy said that she is much lower competent than her peers. She may think that her peers are unreachable in the area of intrinsic ability.
Moreover, there is a significant relationship between self-efficacy and academic performance (Siegle, 2000). Sammy was fail in the public examinations.
Consequently, Sammy may be lack of self-efficacy.
Improving Self-efficacy
Sammy should have a mind that “I can do it”, instead of “I cannot”. This will give her motivation to do something. “what people think, believe, and feel affects how they behave” (Bandura, 1986, p. 25, cited in Pajares, 2002).
Sammy has the ability to do what her peers do. She can try to observe a successful peer model similar to herself is more likely to believe that she can perform as well as the model to get a higher self-efficacy (Siegle, 2000).
Family Relationship
Lack of Mutual Respect
Respect must be preserved anytime anywhere to anyone. Lack of respect will definitely cause some negative influences (Jackson, 2010), such as becoming less cohesive or even violence. Disrespectful examples can be: Nagging, yelling, hitting, talking down, following double standards (e.g. require others not to say filthy language, but yourself say it all the time) (Elder, 2010). Both Sammy and her parents are disrespect to each other. Her parents nagging on her and she banged the door harshly after that. Both actions are disrespectful.
Lack of Quality Time
It is necessary to spend time regularly with all family members do something all enjoy about. It helps to build a healthy family relationship. Even though there is just a few minutes quality time, it is much more useful than huge amount of conflict time (Jackson, 2010). Sammy and her parents have not much time a days, because her parents’ job. However, they spent all the time on conflicts. This may lead to a poor family relationship.
Lack of Communication
“Silence is Not Golden” (Silence is not Golden, 2009). “If you are silencing yourself in an effort to not hurt those around you-stop it. Your silence is not a gift, it’s a curse.” said Merlo-Booth (2009). When you say nothing the other person knows nothing. In order to break down the poor situation, communication is necessary. According to Nemzoff (cited in Silence is not Golden, 2009), in order to develop positive family relationships, “Don’t Bite Your Tongue”. Sammy think that be silence is better than quarrels. However, silence is helping anyone. It cannot break down the frozen situation.
Solutions
Rebuilding respect is the first step of repairing the family relationship (White, 2010). To rebuild mutual respect, we would like to be willing to show respect for each other. A specific way is to minimize sending negative messages (Elder, 2010).
In addition to individual time Sammy and her parents can schedule a family time once a or few week, it should be a time of happiness and joyful by throwing out all the vexation (Elder, 2010).
In order to breakdown the frozen situation, Sammy may need to vocalize her feeling and telling her parents what she wants. Moreover, listening is one of the most important skills in communication. If Sammy can listen to the meanings behind the words, she may recognize many things.
Conclusion
In conclusion, Sammy may be suffering low self-concept with low self-esteem and identity crisis, low self-efficacy which causes low motivation and a poor family relationship. Some suggestions directly pointing to each problem are given in the pervious. It is hoped that Sammy can deal with the problems and overcome the identity crisis, in consequent of having a valuing life.
Reflection
In the case of Sammy, she may just have a misunderstanding about herself and think that she is the worst in the world. Actually, I found that she also has some advantages. She has an advantage that she can discover others’ merit easily. She discovered that her classmates have good academic result. She discovered her elder sister’s good looking. Moreover, in my point of view, she may also have a potential of having a harmonious family environment, because, if she didn’t have this in mind, she won’t think of a better action to the situation, even though it may be wrong. Finally, I trust that she can conquer the psychological disaster.
1293 words in total.
